Emergency set against unfair conversation attacks

Verbal attacks are experienced by all of us in our professional and private lives. They distract from the actual topic and are intended to put the interlocutor on the defensive. Read how to avoid the justification or defence trap.

Conversational attacks can be covert or overt. The other person tries to emotionalize, to make his counterpart feel hurt and to lose his self-control. Whoever does not manage to “jump off” in time has a guilty conscience or stands there himself as the “perpetrator”. In order to escape the toxic cycle, the following emergency set of possible defence strategies helps:

  1. NON-IDENTIFICATION: Do not take the statement personally, emotional distance
  2. have the statement repeated in a very concrete way
  3. verbalise possible reason for the attack, question the benefit
  4. short break, do not comment and just continue
  5. complain about the form and, if repeated, end the conversation in a friendly but decisive manner
  6. call for concrete examples and ask critical questions
  7. build a bridge and emphasize the goal again and again strictly and clearly
  8. incapacitate the attacker with love and empathy
  9. under no circumstances be justified, infected or unsettled

Author: Brigitta Christina Kemner
Book: Wellenmutprinzip

Source: www.businessvillage.de